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RE: I hate it when........ - 11/19/2009 12:25:53 AM

sophiesback

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Trying to stay busy and not have time to mope. The thing i wish to do most right now is curl up in my blanket with the one thing of His i didn't return to Him, and cry myself to sleep for days. i've been out with girl friends and my "bodyguards" every free evening since it happened. i've neglected my girlfriend to the point she probably won't speak to me anymore, though. How can i nurture that relationship when my primary just circled the drain and was sucked in without my having any possible way to stop it?

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RE: I hate it when........ - 11/19/2009 12:27:33 AM

sophiesback

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Thanks for the support wanders. i've often been told i'm too hard on myself. i'm so frustrated.

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RE: I hate it when........ - 11/19/2009 12:52:16 AM

GreedyTop

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quote:

ORIGINAL: sophiesback

Trying to stay busy and not have time to mope. The thing i wish to do most right now is curl up in my blanket with the one thing of His i didn't return to Him, and cry myself to sleep for days. i've been out with girl friends and my "bodyguards" every free evening since it happened. i've neglected my girlfriend to the point she probably won't speak to me anymore, though. How can i nurture that relationship when my primary just circled the drain and was sucked in without my having any possible way to stop it?

allow yourself to do this, but remember that you have responsibilities OUTSIDE OF YOUR SELF.

Grieving is normal, and natural.

Give yourself permission to mourn.

But dont forget that there are people who count on you.. friends, family, co-workers. Most of them (if they have any humanity) will understand you are grieving.. and they will (to a certain degree) give you latitude to do so.

But in the end, you have to suck it up and move on.. and trust me, after a while it becomes easier...

(of course, I could be blowin smoke up yer ass... wanna take a dare? *grin*)

ETA: I'm fucking tired, and the gawddammed concrete company is dumping their shit RIGHT FUCKING NOW outside my window.. so I may not be making the most sense.... caveat emptor)

< Message edited by GreedyTop -- 11/19/2009 12:53:40 AM >

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RE: I hate it when........ - 11/19/2009 12:59:11 AM

sophiesback

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The thing is, Greedy, i know life goes on. i've moved on from 3 husbands. i've even moved on from HIM before, TWICE, but then He came bursting back into my life, full of promise and hope and love and all those things i thought i'd quashed. i'm just not sure how to get over it AGAIN. i can walk away from anything, and i mean anything. He'll never truly let go...He never has. i can't explain the hold He has on me, i don't understand it myself. i asked for closure last time, a time to sit down and talk about things and that only strengthened His hold on me. My new logic is to not give myself time to mourn/grieve yet. Throw myself into work and friends and make it appear to Him that i have moved on, rather than let Him see my car home every night. Is that crazy?

eta: if we're playing truth or dare, i thought i'd give you a truth, till you give out a better dare

< Message edited by sophiesback -- 11/19/2009 1:01:22 AM >

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RE: I hate it when........ - 11/19/2009 3:45:05 AM

zephyroftheNorth

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*Presses speed dial* Hello, Sophie's ex? You are an asshole and I hope you burn in Hell. *smirks*

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RE: I hate it when........ - 11/19/2009 3:47:53 AM

sophiesback

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That pretty much sounds like what i said to Him the day i slapped Him across the room and kicked Him out of my apartment.
(that was long before W/we were M/s)

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RE: I hate it when........ - 11/19/2009 3:50:42 AM

zephyroftheNorth

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quote:

ORIGINAL: sophiesback

That pretty much sounds like what i said to Him the day i slapped Him across the room and kicked Him out of my apartment.
(that was long before W/we were M/s)

The mental images I'm getting are priceless, Soph *weg*. Oh and you know my cell # if you want to talk.

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RE: I hate it when........ - 11/19/2009 3:52:51 AM

sophiesback

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i have given you His name on here so you could perv Him, yes?

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RE: I hate it when........ - 11/19/2009 3:54:09 AM

zephyroftheNorth

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quote:

ORIGINAL: sophiesback

i have given you His name on here so you could perv Him, yes?

No and it's probably good because I would send him messages which would only make it worse for you.

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RE: I hate it when........ - 11/19/2009 3:55:49 AM

sophiesback

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If i was a really evil girl i'd let everyone know who He is, and they could flood His inbox with how much of an asshole He is for getting me to the point where He says He's proud of me and releasing me in the next breath, among other things.

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RE: I hate it when........ - 11/19/2009 3:57:05 AM

sophiesback

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i hate it when.... i can't be as big of a bitch or as evil as i should be!

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RE: I hate it when........ - 11/19/2009 4:10:01 AM

purepleasure

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First, {{{hugs}}} to those that are hurting, and {*{*gropes*}*} to those that want them.

Sophie, there are some people that come in and out of our lives, for no other purpose that to teach us something. By reading your posts, it's easy to see that you have a loving heart, and sometimes people will take advantage of that. Your ex is one of those people. I'm thinking he was meant to teach you to be strong enough to stand on your own, and to never again to take any crap from people with ulterior motives.

Grieve over the ending of your intimate relationship with him, if you must, but please, please, please realize you deserve MUCH better than what he is able to give to you. Take time to reconnect with yourself. Stay surrounded with people that have a positive impact on your life, and will only enhance your joy. Take time for your kids, they need you too, and might inspire you to be more than you ever thought you could be.

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RE: I hate it when........ - 11/19/2009 4:10:29 AM

zephyroftheNorth

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quote:

ORIGINAL: sophiesback

If i was a really evil girl i'd let everyone know who He is, and they could flood His inbox with how much of an asshole He is for getting me to the point where He says He's proud of me and releasing me in the next breath, among other things.

I'm thinking you should do it anyway, he deserves it.

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Post #: 32393

RE: I hate it when........ - 11/19/2009 4:11:27 AM

sophiesback

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That would certainly void any chance of Him taking me back...

and i'd probably get mod-spanked for outing Him?

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RE: I hate it when........ - 11/19/2009 4:13:20 AM

zephyroftheNorth

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quote:

ORIGINAL: sophiesback

That would certainly void any chance of Him taking me back...

and i'd probably get mod-spanked for outing Him?

Can't say I'd be sorry for the first part, you deserve better and besides as long as you hold out hope for his taking you back you won't find someone else.

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Post #: 32395

RE: I hate it when........ - 11/19/2009 4:15:52 AM

sophiesback

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but i love Him, zeph

and and and i just uggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhh i worked so fucking hard to please Him and and and and

*sigh*

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RE: I hate it when........ - 11/19/2009 4:17:43 AM

zephyroftheNorth

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I get that but you could find someone who will treat you right....not now it's too soon...but later. HOWEVER it won't happen until you deal with how you are feeling instead of avoiding it.

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Post #: 32397

RE: I hate it when........ - 11/19/2009 4:22:17 AM

sophiesback

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If i'm not texting you, working, or texting my 20yr old admirer... i am bawling my eyes out. i just don't know how to cope. Except for Him, i have NEVER been dumped. 20 years of relationships, many relationships.....He is the only person to ever end it with me. I've always been the dumpER, not the dumpEE. (Sounds vain but is true)

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RE: I hate it when........ - 11/19/2009 4:24:25 AM

zephyroftheNorth

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Well the first step is to allow yourself to feel instead of avoiding it, and you know you've been doing that. Gotta get ready for work, you know how to reach me.

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RE: I hate it when........ - 11/19/2009 4:25:36 AM

purepleasure

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Sophie, as hard as it might be, turn that around, and the next time he dangles his carrot your way, tell him, "Thanks, but no. I gave up baby carrots for Lent". Or something to that effect. That way YOU become the dumper. Be strong

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Your stupidity does not impress me.

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